Wanna Buy Some Cookies?
by Cora Devoy
Summary: Dumbledore lost all of Hogwarts gold at cards, so everyone needs to sell cookies to raise money. Harry and Hermione detest the idea, but Ron? He's all for it! Will he have cookie-sweet victory, or a crumbly failure? [Complete]
1. The Announcement

A/N: Okay this is a retarded story i'll have you know... whatever but when you review don't agree with me on that one. Thank you! This was just some fic i thought of as I was thinking of how annoying it is when people come to your house (or trailer, depending on what you do for a living) and they want money. I don't like it. So enjoy my story!

**Part One: The Announcement**

It was the middle of the year, and everyone was heading to the Great Hall because Dumbledore had called for a special meeting.

The usual clique of Ron, Hermione, and Harry made there way down to the hall, and took their seats.

"Now," Dumbledore started, standing up. Everyone went silent. "The school is running quite low on money so we will be selling cookies to the public. I'm not good at explaining things, so please give your full attention to our speaker."

"I wonder where the money went to?" Harry whispered to Ron curiously.

:::::::Flashback to a few nights ago in a bar::::::

"Are you _sure _you want to bet all the school's money on this one?" asked Karkaroff mischievously. Him and Dumbledore were playing cards in a dingy, dim litted bar, with cigarette smoke swirling around the ceiling. The sound of pool table balls clunking was occasionally heard.

"As ready as I'll ever be!" Dumbledore slurred, chugging a large glass of alcohol. McGonagall and Trelawny were standing behind him in sparkly dresses, gripping his shoulders. He slapped a large handful of gold onto the table. "Call."

Karkaroff showed him his cards, and looked at his. "Ah, I win again I see." he said, scooping up the gold.

McGongall and Trelawny switched over to Karkaroff's side.

"Fool!" scolded McGonagall, slapping Dumbledore in the face.

:::::::End of Flashback::::::

"May I remind you that I have absolutely no idea how the money dissapeared," added Dumbledore.

"Yeah, I wonder too," Ron whispered back.

A man in a black and white suit walked in front of the tables. He cleared his throat. "Yo ho and Hello, my name's Mr. Max Maxwell and I'm here to tell you good news." he had a voice like a radio announcer's.

"Max Maxwell?" whispered Ron skeptically.

"Have you ever had a dream? A Dream where you wanted it to come true so bad?" the man asked ritoracly. "This is where you dreams come true."

Harry and Ron raised their eyebrows.

"Each and everyone one of you is an individual, just like everyone else. You all have a special meaning in life, and I'm about to tell you." the man gave them all a big smile. "You will be selling the most _delicious _cookies ever made in the history of history. All for your own school, Hogwarts."

Ron and Harry exchanged glances.

The man magicked a box of the cookies into his hands. "This my friends is the best artificially coloured, artificially flavoured cookies that gold-" he slapped the top of the box. "-can buy. And you'll be in some pretty good company too. TONS of famous people have sold cookies. For example, Abe Lincoln did a whole bunch of stuff, and oh yeah! _Sold cookies._ Adam and Eve were the first humans alive, betrayed God, and oh that's right! _Sold cookies. _And of course, even the ever-popular, ever-famous, Harry Potter! He escaped the killing curse, made you-know-who flee for his life and what was that? Oh yes, _sold cookies._"

"No I didn't," said Harry, loud enough for everyone to hear.

The man stared at him, dumbfounded. "...But you will." he added. He continued his lecture in his radio announcer voice. "What I'm getting at, my friends, is that if you've ever had a dream, you can turn it into a _reality. _If you _believe! _If you _believe _that _your dreams can come true! _DO YOU _BELIEVE???_"

"I BELIEVE!!" shouted Ron impulsively, standing up. Hermione tugged him back down.

The man pointed at Ron with both fingers, his eyes glittering. "_That _is the _attitude _I am _looking _for!"

And with that, he walked out of the Great Hall, casually snapping his fingers to make hundreds of boxes appear on the teachers' table.

Dumbledore poked his head out through the masses of boxes. "Well, that was our speaker. I will be giving everyone 10 boxes of cookies to start with, and if you need more, come and see me."

* * *

"Can you _believe _this?" asked Hermione, flouncing onto the couch in the Gryffindor common room. 

"I know!" Harry agreed. "Who in their right mind would buy a box of cookies from door-to-door kids?"

Harry and Hermione continued talking about how dumb selling cookies was. Ron just sat on the couch, staring into space, mumbling.

"... this is my meaning in life... this is what I was meant to do..." he mumbled, faintly smiling.

"Er, Ron?" said Harry, waving a hand in front of Ron. "Earth to Ron...?"

Ron shook his head, and looked at Harry. "I need to sell cookies!"

"In that case, you can have our boxes, because we aren't doing this nonsense," said Hermione. Harry nodded.

"Fine! I will!" Ron exclaimed, jumping up. He rushed towards the door. "I'll sell more than my boxes and yours combined!"

"You do that then." said Harry, turning back to Hermione to continue the conversation.

Ron stomped out of the room. "I'll show them..."

A/N: That was part one. I'm calling them 'parts' not 'chapters' because I fell like it. Kindly review please!


	2. The Attempt

A/N: Part two! Enjoy!

**Part Two: The Attempt**

Ron started selling cookies straight away. With his wheelbarrow loaded with boxes, he made his way to the first house...

Residence #1

He rang the doorbell. A woman answered, smoking a cigarette.

"Er, Hello ma'am!" greeted Ron cheerfully. "I-"

The woman waved her cigarette in his face. "I told ya, I'm already loaded!"

She slammed the door in his face.

Residence #2

He was about to go to a second house, when he spotted a soggy, worn out old cardboard box on the curb.

Ron knocked on it. "Hello, my name is Ron, and-"

A hobo emerged out of the box. "ooooh, got food, have you?"

"Yes, I do, er, sir," said Ron, taking a box from his wheelbarrow. "For only 5 galleons, you can have the best artificially.. uh.. what did he say..."

"Five galleons! What a rip! I ain't got that!" yelled the hobo, retreating back into his 'home'.

Residence #3

Ron walked up to the 3rd home, and rang the doorbell.

"Hi, I'm Ron, and I'm here to tell you good news. I-"

The very sad little man's eyes lit up. "You're going to get Nettie out of jail?"

"Er, no sir. I'm here to tell you about the best cookies gold can buy!" Ron held out a box of cookies.

"Good for nothing sweets!" the man yelled, knocking the cookies out of his hands. He shut the door.

Residence #4

Ron walked up to another house. He could hear loud music blasting from inside.

A boy around Ron's age answered the door. "Oh sweet, our pizza's here! How much?"

"Well, it's 5 galleons a box. But these are-"

The boy gave him 10 galleons and took a box. "I haven't got a five, keep the change!" he closed the door.

Residence #5

Next house, and Ron was still going. he played with the 10 galleons, liking the way they chinkled together. He rang the doorbell of the next house.

An old man answered.

"Hello there, sir! I'm Ron and I'm here to sell you that I've got the best cookies gold can buy. And now you can buy them too! For only-"

"Ah! Young whipper-shnapper, trying to make a few knuts. Back in my day we couldn't get money so easily. We had to work! Work work work! And that weas only _after _our studies! We had to work work work! After our studies, of course. Trying to make a few knuts, are you, young whipper-shnapper? Well, back in my day, we-"

Ron shut the door in his face.

_...Many hours later..._

Residence #826

Ron staggered to the last house in town. Well, it was more of a trailer-type-house. A very shabby trailer. Type-house, that is. Alright it was a trailer. A dirty yucky one.

Ron knocked on the door, and it fell in.

A hilbilly fell out.

A young girl went up to Ron. "Oh, don't mind Bobby Lou, he's always like that." she said in her childish hilbilly twang.

"I'm Ron, and I'm here to tell you about the best cookies money-"

"Money! We ain't got no money!" she twanged. She picked up a stick. "Now git! Git, i say!"

"Okay okay, I'll git!" said Ron, going away.

A defeated and deflated Ron had Hogwarts in sight when he saw that pizza-boy-person-who-didn't-have-a-five-at-the-music-blasted-house (Residence #4) chasing after him.

"You there!!!" the boy shouted. "Give me my pizza! These are just cookies!"

Ron made a dash for Hogwarts, and made it. The boy went away.

"Great," Ron said to himself. "Now I have to face Harry and Hermione and tell them I failed."

A/N: Da da daaaaa! End of Part 2! Part three is next and final.


	3. The Result

A/N: Okay people! This is the last chapter! I'm not going to make this a looong story, 3 parts is enough. I want to keep it short and sweet. Enjoy!

**Part Three: The Result**

Ron glumly walked into the common room. He found Harry in the dark, talking to Sirius's head in the fireplace (just pretend he's alive for a few seconds).

"Oh hey, Ron... Whoa, you look dead!" said Harry.

Ron shot Harry a dirty look. He went over to Sirius' head. "Wanna buy some cookies?" he asked dolefully.

"No, thanks," replied Sirius. "I've got to go and be dead. Bye, Harry!" his head disapeared.

"So how'd it go?" asked Harry, grinning.

"... good." said Ron, sitting down.

"Yeah, right. Tell the truth,"

"Alright! It sucked. I only made 10 galleons, and that was because some airhead thought it was pizza and gave me too much money." Ron confessed.

Harry snorted. "It's okay. Selling cookies is for Girl Guides."

Ron smiled. "Well, we better get to sleep."

They went up to their beds to sleep.

* * *

Once again, the next day Dumbledore called for another meeting in the Great hall. 

"Well, I'm sure everyone did there best. Now it is time to hand in the money," he said.

Everyone gave him their money, along with their names so dumbledore who raised how much gold.

He took the money back to the teachers' table, and all the teachers counted the money. Dumbledore turned back to the students.

"We have raised 96 galleons! Hooray!" he said.

Nobody cheered, because they honestly didn't care.

"And the person who raised the most money was..." dumbledore continued.

Now people were awake.

"... Ronald Weasley!"

"YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!" screamed Ron, jumping up and down.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Just kidding. I wanted to see his reaction, sorry."

Ron glared at him and sat down, mumbling censored words.

"now, the real winner was Neville Longbottom,"

Neville walked up and shook hands with him. He sat back down.

"Let us all feast!"

So everyone feasted.

"You can't win 'em all," said Harry.

Ron looked up at him with sad eyes.

"Well, it's not like it matters." Hermione chimed in. "It's not like there was a priz-"

But then they all saw Neville walk out with a couple of playboy bunnies.

Ron glared at Hermione. "You were saying?"

"Oh. Apparently there is a prize," she said.

Draco Malfoy chased after Neville. "Hey! Theif! Give them back! My father paid..." his voice dissapeared as he ran further and further away.

"Those weren't prizes then," said Harry.

"It's getting late, we should go to bed," Hermione said, getting up. Harry and Ron followed her all the way back to the common room.

"So are you going to give up cookie selling?" asked Harry hopefully.

"Yeah, I guess i should." Ron replied.

Hermione smiled. "Good for you, Ron,"

Ron gave them both a big smile. "I mean, I wouldn't have time, now that I'm going to be selling popcorn for the wizard Scouts!"

Hermione and Harry both groaned. "Ohhh nooo..."

The End

A/N: Yes, that was short, but it was cute. Thank you for reading, and reviewing (hint hint). Please read my other stories, I'm sure you'll like them! :)


	4. The Ron Song

_The Ron Song_

_By Ronald Weasley_

Ron cleared his throat, preparing to sing to the wonderful readers.

" I love cookies, yes I do!

I love cookies, how 'bout you?

Only 10 galleons in one day,

But I like cookies anyway!

A guy came to school and convinced me,

Cookie selling is the way to be!

I love cookies, yes I do!

I love cookies, I love YOU!"

Ron threw up his hands for the finale and gave the person reading this a big hug.

"The End!" He cried joyfully.

A/N: ...don't mind me... just being me... i don't own Ron (thank God) but I own the song. You can choose the tune it goes to. :D


End file.
